I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
