he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
