I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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