O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
