i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
