I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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