fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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