I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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