Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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