I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
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Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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