My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
