Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
