I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
