no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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