I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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