I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
