singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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