i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
