so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
