my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize