I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
