So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
