I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize