he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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