youre lurking in front of me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
how does that bad decision feel?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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