Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
