There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize