How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize