i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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