this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
