I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So squirting runs in the family.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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