Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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