There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
