no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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