It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
