I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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