Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like

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(302): I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like http://tfl.nu/tmn6

Replies (25) Good night (702) Bad night (2140)
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(360): View more from Washington

I don't think brook has ever known best

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(360): I don't think brook has ever known best http://tfl.nu/7v0v

Replies (18) Good night (2444) Bad night (643)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?

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(503): I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant? http://tfl.nu/9d2p

Replies (15) Good night (694) Bad night (3141)
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(512): View more from Texas

it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me

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(512): it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me http://tfl.nu/0mob

Replies (9) Good night (1040) Bad night (3003)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.

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(303): I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/1fh9

Replies (23) Good night (1091) Bad night (5375)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology

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(339): So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology http://tfl.nu/2zvz

Replies (6) Good night (4453) Bad night (1075)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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(610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14

Replies (18) Good night (3905) Bad night (1105)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees

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(423): I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees http://tfl.nu/90bg

Replies (8) Good night (2571) Bad night (903)
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(214): View more from Texas

It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.

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(214): It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad. http://tfl.nu/hqh8

Replies (8) Good night (1355) Bad night (1204)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.

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(615): You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it. http://tfl.nu/hvow

Replies (4) Good night (1695) Bad night (567)
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(727): View more from Florida

He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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(727): He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life. http://tfl.nu/pdok

Replies (12) Good night (680) Bad night (1197)
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(312): View more from Illinois

If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin

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(312): If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin http://tfl.nu/83ln

Replies (9) Good night (642) Bad night (1008)
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(646): View more from New York

Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name

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(646): Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name http://tfl.nu/j3ir

Replies (5) Good night (452) Bad night (728)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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(870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv

Replies (2) Good night (1412) Bad night (289)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies

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(775): He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies http://tfl.nu/uhfl

Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (214)

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