did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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