i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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