Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize