We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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