Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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