That's when you crack a 10am beer
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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