Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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