That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
