Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
