my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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