It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
