I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
