Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
