if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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