$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
