I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
