People in love make me want to vomit
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
