You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
