Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
