Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize