I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was born a porn star she said
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
