What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
